Friday, March 8, 2013

Those Hot Pink Jeggings

During my current stay in the little town between Pants I Used to Fit and Pants with Elastic Panels That Stretch Up to My Neck, I hit the Gap yesterday to try on some “loaners.” Dash slept in the sling while I browsed tables of current trends—their color scheme reflecting my rubber bracelet-covered forearm in third grade: Neon explosion. That’s cool. I happen to love glow sticks. And being that I have a quick trip to New York this weekend, I thought what better place to rock neon than the big city.

I grabbed three pairs of vibrant jeans, a couple shirts and walked to the fitting rooms in the back of the store where I remembered how complicated it is to try on clothes while holding a baby. Like patting your stomach while rubbing your head. There’s an art to this though, and I pride myself on conquering it, so I determinedly started the try-on method which goes a little something like pull one side of pants down while holding baby—switch—pull other side of pants down while holding baby, lean on wall for support, balance on one foot…nevermind. If you’ve been there, you know.

I managed to get two legs into the first pair of neon pants while keeping Dash sleeping in my arms, a singlehanded feat of sliding jeans to knees only to discover they’re not really jeansthey’re jeggings. Which basically means you need Vaseline and a shoehorn to get them on. And even then, if you manage to get them buttoned and can turn yourself toward the mirror without ripping a seam in the back, you’ll find that your reflection blatantly answers the Should I Buy Them question. And it sounds like Hell No. Unless you want your pants to show your Costco panty lines and everything else that shouldn’t be shown.

So I pulled them off. Rather, I tried to pull them off.

Note to Self: Jeggings do not come off. Ever.

I felt a sudden wave of panic as I stood there holding my baby, wondering how I was going to get back into the safety of my roomy skirt which was lying in a heap on the floor next to the other two pairs of jeggings I wouldn’t be trying on. And then Dash started crying.

“I’m going to die in this dressing room,” I thought to myself while simultaneously noticing that the Universe was mocking me with the presence of a giant mirror. As if I was begging to see what I looked like half naked, postpartum, calves shackled together by fuchsia jegging handcuffs.

I remembered I had bumped into my friend Lynn at the front of the store ten minutes prior.

I wonder if Lynn’s still here.

So I called her name, faintly at first: “Lynn? Lynn? Are you there?”

Crickets.

What is it about calling someone’s name from inside a dressing room that depletes me of all confidence? My dressing room calls always sound so feeble and uncertain as if someone noticing that my call for a friend remained unanswered is the most embarrassing thing that could happen. I was seconds away from hobbling out of the Gap fitting room in my Costco underwear to fetch a clerk to pull my pants off; the last thing I needed to be ashamed of was my call for a friend who didn’t come.

I yelled Lynn’s name a little louder, but Lynn was gone, Dash was crying more robustly, and it was time to lay down some Mom Ingenuity. So I did. Clark Kent done went and busted out that phone booth, and Supahmom climbed out. I balanced my kid, I hopped on one foot, I stepped on the pants that dragged behind me to hold them down and I shimmied out of those jeggings like David Blaine.

And, like magic, I wonand in doing so, regained normal heart rate.

Back in the comfort of my skirt, I found a dressing room chair, fed the baby and smiled at the stack of neon jeggings now sitting in the Put These Muthas Back pile. I’m sure I’m not the last mom who will optimistically attempt to try them on and fall victim to their entrapment. And somewhere, there is a willowy stick-legged teenager who will appreciate them, her hips yet unfamiliar with childbirth, her music taste still confined to One Direction. I will consider the fact that these pants don’t fit a badge of honor: I am Mother, Hear me Roar.

…or faintly holler from a dressing room.

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Pre Pants Debacle  (and also how great is the word "debacle"?)

Besides, I've found another place for the neon trend.

Lipstick.

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*Note: There is a reason spell check doesn’t recognize the word jeggings. I’m just sayin’.


******

In other news, we're getting used to our bigger family--ironing out the kinks.  A few favorites from our week:

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To Market

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And finally, finally--some more alert and awake moments.  Our sleepy boy has realized there's a great big world to explore.
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Have a wonderful weekend!

155 comments:

Stephanie Precourt said...

I've tried on jeans in Gap while babywearing... I kind of miss those days, but only a little. But never jeggings! So glad all came out okay. :)

Steph

Jaime said...

I totally feel the inbetween sizes, but I am 5 months post partum!

Your family is adorable! Congrats!

Maggie Sevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel Ennis said...

Oh my gosh, I love this. I've been this. Stuck. Calling quietly for a friend. Using faux curse words...Or not so faux. All of it. :) Enjoy New York! Your babies are gorgeous!

Cathy said...

It's made me laugh. It was many years ago, but one doesn't forget dressing room gymnastics with a babe in arms. And those jeggings require gymnastics...and forever remain out of the realm of possibility for me now.

Runner Mom said...

Loving all of the love here....and the hysterical dressing room debacles us mommies face....I'm wondering looking at your produce/fruit shots if Lainey is like my Kylie girl, and eats any and all produce items straight off the section they sit? I imagine her taking a giant bite of that apple right after you snapped that shot. Well, at least that's what my girl does...it makes for quick exits from the produce section. Lol.

Cathy said...

This not it"s...dang autocorrect on an iPad keyboard.

Nike said...

"...you’ll find that your reflection blatantly answers the Should I Buy Them question. And it sounds like Hell No."

Amen.

TheParkersest11 said...

Your jeggings story had me rolling! Welcome little dash! Where do you get his adorable clothes/bonnets?

Janita said...

Neon jeggings are like taking a highlighter pen to the cellulite...I often stand under the glaring, unforgiving flourescents in awe of my hail damage. Objects in the mirror are larger than they appear? Check. Except for the actual jeggings. They are always smaller than they appear. ALWAYS. And that's saying something. I'm thinking the best use for them is splitting them down the crotch and creating a dickie (albeit rather long) to keep the throat warm. It'd likely be long enough to keep your entire torso warm. And hey, I have a lipstick in a similar shade...Nars Schiap. LOVE it. It startles people just enough to detract their gaze from the bags under my eyes. Or so I love to think! Good luck babe, and enjoy your weekend. Currently sending out the vibes from the Great White North. xo

TheParkersest11 said...

Your jeggings story had me rolling! Welcome little dash! Where do you get his adorable clothes/bonnets?

laurenmsacco said...

I LOVE your sense of humor and willingness to share your story, something I'm trying to do in my new blog as well. I haven't had kids yet and still am afraid of those neon jeggings!!! Dash, Nella and Lainey are beautiful and seem so happy :)

The Salty Dogs said...

I thought I was Ms. MomGenuity sneaking my newborn unobserved into the dressing room at Kohl's for a feeding. ("No one even knows there's a baby in here!") Then he let loose with a sharty nursing-baby poop that echoed loudly throughout the place. "Oh, God. No one even knows there's a baby in here!"

Maria said...

ok..Nella's mint green lace tights..LOVE. Beautiful pics of Dashing Dash. Lainey, tall & slim as a reed, just gorgeous. and Mama's hot pink lips rock. Have fun in my hometown this weekend!

Michelle said...

OBSESSED with this post!!! Made me laugh out loud while shaking my head in agreement! I have been trapped in the same predicament and ended up laying out a nice soft pallet on the floor for my little boy while I tried to peel myself out of some jeggings! Love it!

Melissa said...

Omg this almost made me pee myself. That panic when you are stuck in clothing is horrible. Your pulse races and you get all sweaty. Then add crying baby - that would be total freak out moment. Thank god my oldest is 24 and my youngest is 10. Doesn't matter still get the sweats when trying on clothes.

jaqy said...

I think you will enjoy this video, it is what I thought of the second I read the word jeggings!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLZ8L6SZmaA

Erica Ladd said...

Dying laughing!

The Mac's House said...

You made me chuckle.

Looks like the girls are good snugglers to their little brother.

Congratulations on Dash!

Considerer said...

Ohhhhhhh I hate dressing room panic. And that's without any children in tow! Well done you for not just crying.

MacKenzie said...

Wow, I was laughing so hard ! This has happened to me!! I am 3 months PP with my 3rd!

Your family is precious! I love your sweet boys clothes! I have three boys! I love your taste! Dash's room is adorable!

Nantucket Daffodil said...

Oh how I laughed! Been there done that! Jeggings. Who invented this creature? Must have been the president of justice clothing who is obviously a man. Or Peter Pan. I am glad you made it to safety. Love the lips.

mamarise.com said...

oh yes. oh yes i know this! you just feel so.... not pregnant.... you figure it will all be fine! Ha! That is awesome. It's so nice to hear about a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and can just laugh about it. Also, this knitted diaper cover?? Is it handmade? If so, could you run down a pattern? I love it.

Sally said...

I haven't told too many people my new mom stories, but thought this one nigh bring a smile. While on leave with the youngest of my four, I decided to take him and his little rocker seat into the bathroom while I showered. The sound of the water must have soothed him to sleep, so I proceeded to enjoy my hot shower. My two year old was engrossed in a cartoon and I knew he wouldn'tmove an inch until it was over. I got out of the shower, dried off and came out to go down the hall to my bedroom. Imagine my surprise and horror when I realized my little angel had let in my male boss! Much like the jeggings, I realized a baby carrier does very little toward trying to cover a naked post partum body! Needless to say, I felt the need to change jobs shortly after that little debacle! :)

beth said...

the Put These Muthas Back pile.

YES.

Jessica said...

I can totally appreciate the pant (jegging) story...so true and so funny....your an amazing writer...keep it up :)!

Chasing Hazel said...

I love that "calling-a-friends-name-while-in-a-dressing-room" predicament...we have all been there!!! Also, the word "debacle" happens to be one of my favs as well. My friends and I try at all costs to fit the word in to ANY convo we are having. Thanks for keepin' it real.
Too funny!!!
Well-played Kelle, well-played...

Olga said...

LOVED.EVERY.WORD.

Paige said...

I got stuck in jeggings once. In Target. Oh yeah, and I was very pregnnt when I tried them on. Not fun! I was sweating. And yes, debacle, great word! Have fun in the big city. xo

Andrea said...

I think I had a fairly similar incidence in Marshall's once! (and the lighting in Marshall's is so awful which made it even worse!!). I laughed out loud tonight at this one!!

Dash is beautiful- he sends baby fever SKY ROCKETING!!

Leanne said...

"...calves shackled together by fuchsia jegging handcuffs." L to the OL!!

Kayla Peveler said...

So so precious. Love little Dash's outfit in those pics. I believe all jeggings throughout the world should probably be burned. Ha!

Lisa said...

Hilarious! I think all of us mother's can relate to the post-baby dilema. My last little was born 3 years ago and I now have what a friend called "mama cat belly." You know exactly what I am talking about if you have ever owned a cat that gave birth. No matter how much I exercise,it will be there to remind me that I carried my two loved ones inside of me and gave them life. That makes it all worth it. Look forward to hearing about your NY trip.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my goodness. Hilarious. Jeggings. Calling out to your friend : ). SO, so funny. I am glad you are navigating your way with three little people. You rock out neon lipstick like nobody's business! Oh yes you do! : )

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said...

When my middle daughter was just a few weeks old, we were getting ready to move and I had to schedule job interviews. I remember being in a similar situation, in the dressing room of Ann Taylor, trying on suits. Crying infant, odd-fitting clothing. I could really relate to this post!

Kelly said...

I discovered your blog recently and love your stories and beautiful photos! I, too, have tried to shimmy into the neon jeggings and realized they best fit 14 year olds!!

DaphneOP said...

Hi Kelle

Funny story! Glad my neon pink lipstick gave you a better idea than those neon jeggings! haha.

http://daphne.ph

Rosa said...

Love that hot pink lipstick!

Peeper said...

My first post-partum pants was a pair of peacock blue cords from target. It was also my first solo trip out :) I'm impressed that you were brave enough to bring those things into the dressing room! I haven't been that brave since puberty! LOL!

Erika said...

After FIVE girls (including identical twin sisters who went to Heaven at birth) - you are making me long for a little boy. ;-) He is so exquisitely beautiful...

xoxo,
Erika

urthmama.com

floofie said...

Thank you for the laugh..it's been a rough week and I am in desperate need of some good ol humor!

Elisa {With Grace and Eve} said...

Ha! I laugh because I've been there and how I love your descriptions :) xx

SBCE said...

I've not put foot into a GAP since 2003. You are a brave woman! :)

Your children are precious, too. :)

Nicolette Gawthrop said...

this debacle is (yes, i love debacle too) was quite entertaining. after the fact. Got the dang thing done. and
neon lips are PERFECT.
i've been sending lots of travel love out into the environment for you and that baby Dash that i'm in love with. also, loving seeing your Dad's hilarious Instagrams. happy NYC weekend. (i hope you win the award)

Heather Wood said...

Funniest post I have EVER read! I wish I could be your best friend and get a few laughs everyday!

Cheri said...

You had me at .... Put these Muthas back pile! ;)

Charity Mack said...

So stinking funny! Right up there with the peanut post a few months back. My 3 month, 3rd kid, post pregnancy hips laughed at me stuck in a pair of jeans just yesterday...thanks for the tip that roaring should have been the appropriate response.

-Charity Mack
cmacks.com

Jill VT said...

Dear dear girl, why are you even IN a dressing room three weeks postpartum? You will be super skinny and super hot again soon enough...just get through the first four months.

Heidimc said...

This had me cracking up so bad! Thank you for the laugh...not at you but with you. Thanks for sharing the little bits of your life. I always look forward to reading your blog.

Erin Bettis said...

Kelle,

Where did you get the large roll of brown paper for Nella's craft-time? I have searched a few stores with no luck.

- Erin

P.S. I wish you posted pics of the jeggings - I have no clue what the heck those are. ;)

mamamac said...

This is pure gold.

Douglas said...

One of my favorite posts of all time. Maybe that belies that I've been hanging out in dressing rooms trying on pants that don't fit with screaming children for WAY too long. As always, thanks for keeping it real. Marissa

Katie said...

your family is beautiful! and I love your crib bedding and want to know where it is from!!

yourfriendrobin said...

I can only laugh because it's been almost two years since I last tried on clothes while carrying a baby. Any sooner, and I think I might've cried. ;)

Aimee LH said...

oh my, laughed til I cried! that has so been me...I'm so powerless behind a closed door trying on the selections I pick out...thank you for the smiles today :) And death to jeggings!!!

dirtyhousehappykids said...

I can so relate :)

Leah said...

So sorry, Kelle, but this gave me a good laugh! ;) I have a 2-month old (besides an 8 and 3.5 year old) and I feel your pain! I've even had to potty with my little guy! Glad the lipstick worked out for you! Loved these pictures, too... As always. Happy weekend! :)

The Emotional Idealist said...

That's GOT to be the hospital pacifier. My sister and I look identical (even though we are 5 and a half years apart) so we could never get our baby pictures straight until we realized that I was the one with the huge brown pacifier that took up my entire face in pictures. I LOVE it. Beautiful family, thank you for opening up to us!

Darcee said...

For this post, and many before, I adore you and your honesty. I was laughing and terrified for you being stuck in those damn jeggings, all alone with a baby strapped to you, at the same time. You know who jeggings look good on? My tiny, perfectly proportioned, eight year old daughter. She rocks those muthahs right. They shouldn't even make them in adult sizes. Have a grand time in NYC!!

Offer KINDNESS. Choose GENEROSITY. Give LOVE! said...

So funny!
Jeggings are icky anyway.
Stick with the hot pink lips. Super cool!
Happy weekend!

Jennifer said...

I have missed your writing. I know your balancing that sweet, handsome fella with the girls. This post made me smile, laugh, and squeee with delight you had a chance to write.

Alicia said...

Oh my, do I miss those newborn days...but I do not miss the "I can still fit in these" optimistic attitude/therefore being disappointed days. All in good time. :) WHEN you are ready, the Jillian Michaels' DVDs are AWESOME! 20 min workouts you can fit into any routine. But...oh...those newborn days. Miss them something fierce, which is my clue that we are not done at two. :)

maleahbliss said...

Oh man. Hilarious! My saving grace when shopping with my babies is my carrier! (I have a 3 mobies, a ring sling and 2 infantino balances.) They are the BEST! I especially love wearing when they are teeny tiny! Look into them! :)

Meg said...

You are hilarious!!!! I had my daughter 6 weeks ago and tomorrow I am shopping for some new clothes since I am at that in between stage. Will keep this in mind. Loved reading this post. Actually love reading all of your posts. :)

Liane said...

Lainey all of a sudden looks so grown-up. I remember when I first started reading your blog and she was this tiny little toddler. I imagine that my four year old is going to look SO BIG to me when my new little one comes along!

Love the more alert photos of Dash! He really is a little cutie. He makes me want to hold my little one in my arms but at 16 weeks pregnant I've got a while before I can do that! Baby needs to cook some more!

Have a great weekend in New York! I'm jealous, stuck here in England where there is nothing but grey skies and rain! x

Baby girl Gordon said...

Where did you find the Fox onesie? Too cute.

Jennifer P. said...

This was such a fun read. Glad I am not alone!

bestof2sisters.com said...

Oh, Kelle. What a funny funny SuperMum jegging story. Loved it.
Aargh - those in between stages are an annoyance, everything too small or too friggin big. I fell into the trap of buying a couple of baggy-easy-to-whip-my-boob-out-discreetly-in-public kind of shirts, after both my babies were born.
They were hugely unflattering, and rather dull coloured, but hey!! If only I'd thought of neon lipstick - I could have rocked those tent like shirts till the next millennium!
C xx

Carol Sue Gershman said...

so fun. love how you wrote the story. With me it is about bathing suits

TRB Holt said...

OH sweet Hampton family...someday I will meet ALL of you! xo

Bug & Ruby's Gram


ps...love, LOVE the birth announcement!....but just a DASH!

MarianneF said...

Hysterical, thank you. I am in that same town right now and I didn't realize that I could laugh here.

Katelin said...

I am going jeans shopping today- a mixed blessing of taking some mommy-time and kicking my butt at the gym the past few months. I needed this reminder that it is absolutely, positively OK to not sport jeggings. Thank you and your neon pink lipstick for that reminder!

Alicia D said...

he is so stinkin' cute,

I think i'm STILL in between pants sizes and my youngest is 5! LOL! Jeggings... who on earth invented these things!

I've had to try on many items of clothing (including wedding dresses - long story) holding an infant but never the fateful jeggings! LOL!

karlamcurry said...

HA! Ah, this is what I needed - someone who understands! I'm 2 weeks postpartum and will NEVER fit into my regular clothes again. *sigh* I was watching TV one [late] night since I really don't sleep at all these days, and there was some commercial featuring bikinis and the like. I kind of grimaced, looked down at my mushy body, then looked over at my baby girl asleep on a blanket and just smiled. I'd pick her any day!

Lulu said...

Dude... take a pram! ;-) xxx

Gordon Slaton said...

Costco has some nice colored jeans that are not jeggings and will fit us mommas quite nicely.

http://mylittlehappies.blogspot.com said...

He is delicious! I can absolutely relate to the jeggings venture. I packed up all of my maternity things at week three with my now 10 month old thinking optimistically I'd squeeze into normal clothes like I did with the first two only to be completely let down. Then I wondered--was it only my positive imagination thinking I had squeezed back into my old stuff so early with the other two??!!?? I'm by NYC and would still love to meet you one day!! Maybe with Jen Tonetti Spellman...

Erica said...

Loved this post! I just recently had a baby as well, so I can totally relate to those crazy baby wearing/holding one-handed experiences. Beautiful writing once again.

Erica
www.beautifullifemadeeasy.blogspot.ca

talesoflifeloveandicecream said...

Love this!! The first time I went shopping with my daughter (now 6 months) I tried, hesitantly optimistic, to try on some new pants while wearing her in a sling. 3 minutes into the process, baby starts screaming, I start sweating and 2 seemingly helpful French tourists start banging on my door asking me if I need help with the baby. I quickly admitted defeat and got the heck out of there fast. haha. The whole process was so scaring I haven't attempted shopping again without baby in her stroller!!

Unknown said...

I love you. Your blog. Your photography. Your gorgeous kids and home! And this made me crack up as I have a 3 month old who does NOT like to be put down and I had a similar experience in a dressing room, believing I would NOT make it out of there.

Unknown said...

You can't swear but your dad can comment about your titties?! Weird.

Lisa said...

I am also a mother of three and this had me laughing out loud. Best. Post. Ever. Dash is just precious almost makes me wanna have a fourth...almost :)

LH said...

Thought of you and Nella yesterday -- a customer of mine had a little girl with DS and she was upset bc she really really really wanted this soap (I work at bath & body works) for st. Patrick's day and her mom said no... Which resulted in a minor meltdown until I came up with a compromise: a st patty's day hand sanitizer that had the little leprechaun on it AND we could wash her hands at the sink in my store with the soap. I helped her wash her hands and her mom was so surprised and thankful that I was so patient and caring with her daughter (her words, not mine!) and spent so much time with them even though we were busy. and the little girl hugged me and said "thanks you!" Her mom teared up a little and said "Most people aren't nearly as kind as you when she has a meltdown. thank you so much." I told her she didnt have to thank me at all, and thanked her for letting her daughter "play" with us at the store! It was the absolute highlight of my day! Hugs from Clinton Township, Michigan. xoxo

Amber said...

Can I ask where you got that adorable mobile above the crib? SO cute!

Ashley said...

I read your blog all the time, but I have never posted a comment... For some reason this post reasonated with this mama! So well written... And such a good reminder that mama hood is a badge of honor. I want to wear it well! Forget the jeggings, been there, done that!! :)

Ashley said...

I read your blog all the time, but I have never posted a comment... For some reason this post reasonated with this mama! So well written... And such a good reminder that mama hood is a badge of honor. I want to wear it well! Forget the jeggings, been there, done that!! :)

bee x said...

Nellie looks smashing in her pink neon leggings......her mummys girl xx

helene said...

I think you look beautiful in the roomy skirt and pink shirt!

Clarissa Reep said...

You likely know about him already, but I found this this morning and I am so inspired by this guy!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/04/tims-place-albuquerque_n_2792190.html

Kelsey said...

Hahaha so glad you're saying this. I feel so frumpy in my Sam's Club undies, trying to fit into those pre baby jeggings. If you're admitting jeggings are for the birds then I feel so much better about hating them.

The onion Farmers Wife said...

Bwahhahahahah.....you make me laugh. Gotta love the Gap. Thanks for the smile today.

April Vernon said...

I love your funny stories about life's not so perfect moments. Dash is gorgeous! I am just now catching up on your blog. Levi has been in the hospital :(

Tammie said...

HAHA, loved this post, I'm sure that their is not to many Mom's that have not been in your place. I just love that you shared with all of us and have a smile. Your blog makes my day. Bonus=your 3 little angels!!

Sydney said...

Love the jegging story and oh my, Dasher looks so sweet, how do you put him down??

Cheri said...

I loved this post. It made my day... thank you!!

drauntieali said...

Reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross got stuck in his leather pants.

Sorry Gnat said...

Congrats; been off blog lines; didn't know you had baby; you have a beautiful family; love the photos; article hilarious! best wishes

I'll Love You Forever said...

Mad props to you!! You are super mom! I love seeing the pics of your children, they are so darling and beautiful. Xo

medina family said...

So funny! And brave of you. Shopping with kids at any age is not fun for me, unless I'm only buying for them. Crying, disappearing under racks, wanting food...yes, it makes your heart race.
,
Sidenote, my daughter and I have declared it the year of the skirt. She's in between sizes and really only fits in skirts. And skirts are so comfortable! I don't even think I've ever tried on jeggings.

Great story...and precious family pics!



Catherine said...

Oh God, I love that post! I have so been there... with twins... Trying on bras and underwears... Trying to fit in a size that I knew pre-twins and ending up in a very scary size... crying with the babies in a corner of the changing room... Love your writing Kelly. I have been reading you for years, but for some reason, never comment on blogs where there are tons of comments for some strange reason. Better change that!

Kelle said...

LH from Clinton Township (Insert Michigan high five): thank you for sharing that story. Made me smile. I bet you made that little girl's day...and the mama's. love your kindness.
Xo

LW said...

Soooo...do they not sell strollers in Florida? lol

Laura SC said...

SO cute! Very funny. I feel for ya. I must know about those shoes/sandles/thongs you are wearing. I MUST! please what are they?! You're so beautiful in that picture.

Erin Moynihan said...

Great story! You made me laugh :-) As a woman who doesn't have kids yet, your stories show me what I have to look forward to... the good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, and the beautiful. Thanks again for sharing your family's pictures and stories!

Kulio said...

hahahaha

thank you

mandyb said...

I remember those days trying to navigate the mall when my boys were babies! It is pretty much impossible.

Congrats on your adorable addition to your sweet family. Dash is beautiful!

Lindsay said...

I went to Kohls on Friday wearing my 3 week old and then tried to figure out how the f I was going to try on a dress. Puffy down winter coat laid in the teeny tiny Kohls cart made a perfect little nest for my little! Sorry the jeggins were a no go, but you can rock that lipstick!

amy said...

So glad you got out unscathed!! I had my 4 week old in nordstrom changing room once & he had, lets say, an amazing explosion & not enough wet wipes ... I too thought I was going to die in that room!!!! Take care.

Sarah Hodgson said...

Jeggings...I must live under a rock as I had to look the term up, lol, God Bless you, not only for sharing so honestly (and such beautiful babies) but for even trying them on! I would never...wouldnt have before baby, never mind after.
:) :) :)

Farmgirl Paints said...

I gained 50+ pounds with both my girls. I couldn't pull my jeans up past my knees for 6 months. I remember feeling despair...like will I ever be normal again...lol!! I can laugh now. I think you are amazing for even attempting those pants. Love your gusto girl.

Teacher Mom said...

I literally laughed out loud at this post...not at you, but because, lady, I have been there! Those jeggings hold so much promise in the window! The should really come with a warning label...for teeny boppers only :) Thanks for making my day with your story!

kendra said...

holy holy!!! congratulations!!! he is gorgeous. i love all his little knitteds too. bravo to you for braving the dressing room.

Andrea said...

This post honestly made me laugh out loud as I read it in my quite office this morning.

I think all mothers can relate. Glad you made it out with your sense of humor!!

Laura said...

This is so why I read daily! I so should have wrote about escaping to the mall 5 DAYS postpartum last summer in the middle of a MI heatwave which seemed like a brilliant plan until I hit the dressing room. I cried. And I cried. and the fitting room guy thought I was nuts & my 18 yr old son tried uncomfortably to assure me at my "I'm disgusting wails" and then the babe started crying and the messing juggling act began...and then at Christmas totally mastered trying on jeans w/ babe in front pack in the Gap. This is the difference...I'm 40 and I went for the boyfriend jeans :)

liz said...

Where did you find Dash's yellow/white polka dot sheet? LOVE it!

Kerri said...

Bhahaha! This is the only way places can sell jeggings! You can't get them off so you have to purchase them...like try them on in the fitting room and walk to the cash register wearing them!

Reenie said...

OMG.... your jeggings story cracked me up!!

Adorable photos.

Allie said...

Ooooooo Your shoes in the dressing room pic! Can you give more info? and maybe a more intentional picture?

cindy said...

This was hilarious! Been following your blog since Nella was born and I have to say this had me cracking up-out loud!! I love your blog, your photos(as I'm a photographer in my dreams-and only in my dreams:)your craftiness and love for life and family. God bless you and your home!

Donna said...

Mmmm...why were you trying on jeggings in the first place again? I don't even wear jeggings, and I didn't just give birth last month. ;-)

Kiki said...

I totally agree with you--there is definitely a reason why jeggings are not recognized by spellcheck. Couldn't have said that better!

Thank you once again for making me smile. Your posts--no matter the subject--always make my day. :)

Suzanne said...

Okay, Dash is so adorable, I just want to eat him up! :)

I love the infant stage...

laurabeth1976 said...

Half the time I buy the clothes first and try them on at home while the little ones are napping. I have been doing a lot of shopping at Burlington because I can get what I need for myself and the kids. I love their deals and they have the same designers and styles I see at the other department stores. It makes shopping with the kids much easier.

Lorraine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lorraine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lorraine said...

Hi Kelle,

I've followed your blog for a little while now, but have never commented. First let me congratulate you on the birth of little Dash. He's gorgeous as are Lainey and Nella.

I came across this video and so wanted to share it with you. It's well worth watching. It's about an incredible young man with Down Syndrome. Enjoy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OT5iU0RcAM&feature=youtu.be

Lorraine said...

Here's a link to Tim's website too

http://timsplaceabq.com/

1st Time Mommy said...

This seriously made me laugh out loud. American Eagle Outfitters has some great jeggings that even a curvy girl like me can get into. But Gap's are an awful fit. Try a boyfit jean this season! They usually run large, so you can likely si.ze down and trick yourself into feeling like a superstar ;) Old Navy has a great pair of boyfriend jeans for around $30.

amber said...

i love you kelle!!!

April said...

High-five, mama!!!
xo.

April said...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've commented. That was weird. Ha!

Annie said...

Tears in my eyes from laughing! Glad it all worked out :)

Mika said...

You are a FABULOUS storyteller!

Loved this! It was like we were in the stall next to you ;)

oldenoughforfairytales.com said...

You're children are beautiful :).

We found out in December that we're expecting our first child (I'm somewhere way beyond thrilled). It's been such a journey already of physical changes and emotional thrill rides (haha). Counting down the days till September has made me enjoy your blog even more - I love how much joy you find in your children, it's an encouragement to see!

oldenoughforfairytales.com said...

*Sigh*

"YOUR" children. This is a day for leaving the purse at home, nearly running out of gas, eating raisins for breakfast and...forgetting basic grammar rules.

oldenoughforfairytales.com said...

*Sigh*

"YOUR" children. This is a day for leaving the purse at home, nearly running out of gas, eating raisins for breakfast and...forgetting basic grammar rules.

Lindsey said...

Saw this article and thought of your Nella. http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/woman-down-syndrome-dolls-for-children-with-disability

khenrichs said...

This is so funny!!:) I have been so curious about the doll Nella is holding in your blog header. Wondered if you'd share? Always enjoy your blog!

Jen said...

Kelle I just love your stories!! I went to purchase your book today at the bookstore (I know im a little behind) but they were sold out :( I am ordering it online as we speak! I cannot wait to read it. As an aspiring Blogger I absolutely adore you. Please keep writing and letting us in on your wonderful life. <3

Hena Tayeb said...

I can't remember the last time I physically shopped for my clothes.. I buy everything online in several sizes and just return what doesn't fit. I miss shopping in person but I can hardly pay attention trying to keep my toddler entertained and happy.

Yellow Finch said...

i swear i have been in that exact moment. post jess.

Happiness is... said...

Great story. Glad that you survived the debacle. I have Jeggings and I have to remember not to put cream on before hand if I want to pull them up (without cursing); and remove them by stepping on them, pulling them off inside out by using my feet and legs.

Phew. I was anxious for you. I was waiting for you to also say that Dash's crying made your milk flow and soak your shirt while stuck in those pants. That would have been my stupid luck.

-Jennifer

wordsofhisheart said...

Oh my gosh, he's beautiful.

Skye said...

smiled while reading the entire post. now that i'm a mom stories like this take on a whole new meaning. love!

Raelyn said...

Kelle....
I have fallen behind on your Blog!! What happened, what happened....? ;)
Congrats on your paperback copy printing of "Bloom"!! And, the New Your Times Bestseller?! Awesome!! I finished reading "Bloom"--and wanted to stretch out its final chapters as long as possible!!--as I mentioned before, I'd read it again and again and again and again!! ;-D
Wow. The story about Sarah and her son's booties touched my deepest emotions!! All I can write is "wow".... ;)
--Raelyn
PS. I did not read this post. Because I am behind!! But, I could not comment on your New York post. :-(

Stacy said...

I heard this wonderful young man and father's story from StoryCorps on NPR and had to share it with you and your readers. I'd love to visit Tim's Place!

http://www.npr.org/2013/03/15/174328613/a-good-enough-dad-and-his-special-son

Peeper said...

I knew I'd find it sooner or later. Your account reminds me of this one:
http://crappypictures.com/i-tried-on-spanx-and-almost-called-911/

High-larious, but I love most that both stories make me feel a little less sad about my own spanx and jeggings debacles. It seems to be an embarrassingly post-partum universal problem!

Jenny said...

Working backwards getting caught up on posts, and wanted to you tell you that you look FABULOUS in the New York pics. I have a 15 month old and am still working on getting the last 10 or so off, but you look incredible! Take care and please, don't let the negative comments bother you - you ROCK!

-Jenny in Iowa

Blair Ahrens said...

Love it! I have had terrifying moments just like this...your description of it is hilarious. And spot on. :)

Blair Ahrens said...

Love it! I have had terrifying moments just like this...your description of it is hilarious. And spot on. :)

SuperMilf said...

Cracked up reading this post last night and saw this today...http://shine.yahoo.com/the-thread/american-eagle-skinny-skinny-jeans-are-an-april-fool-s-joke--say-sources-170449508.html
haha!
*Jazzmine*

SuperMilf said...

Cracked up reading this post last night and saw this today...http://shine.yahoo.com/the-thread/american-eagle-skinny-skinny-jeans-are-an-april-fool-s-joke--say-sources-170449508.html
haha!
*Jazzmine*

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Mallory said...

Yep...totally been there with the colorful jeans that turned out to be jeggings. So much for my going out on a limb and trying something new.

Jessica said...

I had to come back to this blog post today. I am a new mom with a ten week old and I finally went out shopping for the first time yesterday looking for a swim suit. Putting a new mom in front of a full length mirror was cruel enough but life didn't get better. My son was outside of the dressing room with his dad and he started to cry. In the middle of trying on swimsuits my boobs do their thing when they hear my baby crying and the next thing I know the floor is soaked! I'm struggling trying to get my own bra back on but what I ended up with is my bra on and swimsuit top half on, stuck under my bra. I can laugh it now imagining how I must have looked as I frantically tried to redress myself as quickly as possibly before I flooded Old Navy! Thanks for posting so honestly about the struggles as well as the triumphs in your life!