Monday, January 28, 2013

Last Bites

Last week, I stayed with a friend’s mama in the Minnesota tundra. It was a quick trip—only two nights—but long enough to savor a small chapter of the good winter story I miss. Morning coffee at a kitchen table overlooking a snowy scene of frosted branches; climbing under the weight of double down comforters at night, feeling safe and caved in from the frigid temps outside; and late dinners enjoyed with candlelight and good conversation.

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Hot spicy chili, seared buttery garlic bread with herbs, homemade pickles, Chicken Dijon, creamy potatoes. Each night after we lingered over dinner for as long as we could possibly stretch that delicious ceremony, I noticed another ritual, obviously repeated every evening in this home.

“Last bites!” the mama called, and sleepy dogs curled in heaps near our feet suddenly rose to attention, two words signaling their nightly scurry to the kitchen counter where they knew they’d be treated. I watched as two dogs panted, tails wagging, and excitedly received their post dinner reward. I, in turn, savored a little more mindfully the last bites on my own plate and the remaining moments of that calm kitchen table before rising to help clear the dishes and get ready for bed.

Last bites. I love that. An all call to taste and cherish the end of something good.

I’m clearly feeling this right now, aware that the delicious ceremony I’ve lingered over for the last eight months is nearing its end. And probably for good. I’d love ten babies and bunk beds built into every crevice of our home, but we also know what feels about right for our family and its needs.

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I actually like pregnancy, and somewhere there is a voice inside that is laughing—the voice that remembers the first twenty weeks of dry heaves and smell aversions. Okay, I like the second half. I love the miracle of growth and that can't-quite-catch-your-breath phenomenon of movement. Every time they turn a knee, press their tiny back side against my stomach, throw a swift kick to the side, I smile: Hello there baby, you are mine.

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I love the anticipation—replaying the vision of the moment he’s handed to me over and over and over. What will I feel? What will he look like? What will that moment be like—the one where I pull him right into the special hollow in my neck reserved for my babies and kiss his head, whisper “Happy Birthday,” feel his first breaths against my skin?

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I remember those moments from the last time I did this and yes, I think about that too. Precious, unforgettable moments that perhaps make preparation for this birth a little bit different…but not much. I’ve talked to a lot of mamas who have made the choice to have another baby after welcoming a child with Down syndrome, and there is a range of emotions represented from feeling very nervous and scared to completely open and fearless to the infinite possibilities pregnancy and birth bring. All of these emotions are normal and okay. Our experiences in life make us each different in the ways we embrace and react, and I can relate both to the added fears as well as to a more open acceptance for what lies in store.

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After Nella was born, I looked back on her birth and for a moment almost felt embarrassed for the silly details for which I had prepared when they seemed so meaningless after, compared to the depth of emotion that accompanied her birth and diagnosis. Really?  Birth favors, a pretty nightgown picked out for the occasion, hand knit hats, a birth song, candles?  Does any of it matter when you’re bitch-slapped with the reality of what life is really about?

It does to me. I’ve realized that. Because here I am, three years later, a lot more comfortable with who I am, and I’ve already packed the hand knit hats, birth favors my girls and I made together, and the perfect new pair of pajamas I’ll wear in the hospital—the ones I’ll save and point out to him years later. “I wore these the first night I rocked you to sleep,” I'll tell him someday. I am the mama who knows that little details make her happy and that welcoming a baby to the world, regardless of what that risk might hold, heralds a hell of a celebration for my freak flag waving heart.

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It finally arrived--the outfit my mama's been crocheting for his homecoming.

While I don’t feel overly nervous or afraid for this birth, I am aware that latent emotions might stir up. I am listening to my body, my heart, my intuition. I am holding my babies close and feeling grateful for the opportunity to be this boy’s mama. And I am tearing up at the thought of being told again “One last push” because I know that what follows, always, is love.  I am aware that in the coming weeks, there will be moments where the raw emotion of the past, present and future will merge, and I don't know what that will feel like but I imagine it will be good for the soul.

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Here’s what I know: no one knows what life may hold, but beyond whatever it is…there is amazing.

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There are so many incredible ways to become a mama these days.  I was given the opportunity to bring three little lives into this world, and I am grateful for the complex and miraculous series of events that formed their perfect bodies, their precious souls.

There are a few more doctor appointments, a few more weeks of falling asleep dreaming of what loving him will feel like, a few more kicks and somersaults, and a few more smiles from feeling Brett's hands reach across to lie against the curve of my middle.  I don't ever ever want to forget what this feels like. 

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And so I savor the last bites.

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144 comments:

Franchesca said...

beautiful baby bump!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

you have never been more beautiful

Tiffany said...

Ahhh how amazing! I loved being pregnant too.

Lynsey Braggs said...

Love your outlook! So excited for you and your family!God Bless!

Sandy Adams said...

Ahh, do I miss those days! :)

SH said...

I love all the baby bump photos! I can only hope I will document my future pregnancy like you've been documenting yours.

Sheree
thehartungs.blogspot.ca

Liane said...

I love all the baby bump photos :) I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my second and am just starting to get the beginnings of a bump.. I cannot wait until its bigger! I too love pregnancy but I could do without the 24/7 nausea :)

Heidi ★ said...

Sitting here 20 weeks pregnant with our final babe, this post stirred up a lot of emotions! I too love being pregnant except I blow up like a balloon almost instantly! Trying to shut up about being huge & just enjoy every second!

Harvesting Joy said...

My second son had Down syndrome and I was actually a bit sad when our third came out typical. I was secretly hoping for another extra chromosome. :) But I can't imagine my life with any other baby! Good luck, Mama! I wish you a wonderful birth!

Tena said...

Your beautiful outlook is making it hard for me to remember that we're done, after our two kiddos. Best of luck!

jeshiko said...

All the best!!!

Marla, Special and Determined said...

God bless you. You are beautiful inside and out and your children are very lucky to have such an amazing mother. Good luck and enjoy your last few weeks. Pray all goes well.

I have to say I absolutely LOVE the last picture of you and Nella. There is so much emotion being translated through both of your faces.

Marla
http://www.special-and-determined.com

Laura Harfield said...

Crying... Because I know just what you mean. What an immense privilege to grow these beings inside us. To bring them into the world. To watch them grow. I can't wait to hear about his arrival. xo

Heidi said...

When Isla was being born, the midwife asked me if I wanted to finish her birth myself - to reach under her little shoulders and pull her up on my chest. After the long wait and all the losses we had gone through, it was an absolutely exquisite moment. I hope your birth with this little guy gives you the same sense of perfect joy! You look wonderful!

Alicia Llanas said...

i always read but not comment, i didnt wanted to pass by today without doing it.

congratulations on your new baby, keep enjoying the last bites! is just the beginning of a more delicious life :)

i have two kids with down syndrome, one bio the other one through adoption, they are my life, my adoration, and now that i've been following several pregnancies kind of want to have another baby, so we will see what happen in the future

greetings from Mexico :)

http://www.aliciallanas.com

Jude said...

Another beautiful post. All the very best for your last few weeks. Can't wait to see his photo's with his siblings. :-) Jude.x

Christie said...

The little details make me happy too! Thank you so much for sharing, and I can't wait to meet him!!

Wesley said...

You look beautiful! We are expecting our first baby in early March and I am savoring these last few weeks as well. I have loved being pregnant - I'm one of the lucky ones who missed all the morning sickness. ;-)

I always wondered what being pregnant would feel like and here I am. It is more amazing and wonderful than I could have ever hoped for.

Can't wait to hear about the birth of your baby boy and see pictures!

Kathryn said...

You are stunning Kelle!

As I prepare for a new arrival in the next few weeks too, reading through ur post I have many of the same emotions...excited to meet and hold this person, and a tiny part of me wanting it to linger....

But as we both know, they come when they are ready.

Best wished as you prepare, and meet ur new one <3

Kathryn

Farmgirl Paints said...

i get caught up in your words. i'm ready for your next chapter. HA! i know you're savoring, but i can hardly wait to meet this new precious soul. it's so exciting!!!

Angela said...

Oh girl, you've got a mama crying over here. so so so beautiful. i long for that baby bump just one more time. secondary infertility is a bitch.
i cannot wait to "meet" your baby boy and see all of the little details. xoxo

Monique said...

You are a beautiful Mama Kelle. You wear that Mama badge with pride, joy, honour and and hope. You will never forget the feelings and experiences you are going through because you live them with so much colour, depth and richness. You make your right now moments matter and that is why you will never forget. All the best to you and your family over the next while...I have a feeling baby boy is coming early.
Monique
(aka maddogmatt on IG)

heather said...

Beautiful!

xoxo

Andi said...

As always, wonderful post! I love seeing all of the belly pictures and it makes me wish that I had a few more from my pregnancies. This post also made me a little misty eyed. Babies make me cry which happens so much more since I had my daughter 6 years ago and I am, dare I say, a little envious, as we decided to stop at 3 and we were pretty much set on having 4. My second pregnancy was twin boys and they were HUGE, so the doctor said that it might be time to retire my uterus. The twins will be 3 next month and thank God, they still want to lay their heads on my shoulder. I do miss inhaling the newborn baby smell, though. Enjoy these precious last few weeks your sweet family of 4. The best is yet to come!

The Scott's said...

You look wonderful...
And now I have baby fever! :)

LilianEveDesigns said...

Savor your moments and praying for your peace in the coming days as you prepare for your little one!

Coming from a girl that awaits the day to say she's expecting- God willing.

God has a plan for us all.

He has mighty plans for you sista!

With Love, Regina

Laura Bedingfield Herakovich said...

awwwwww. precious. i'm with you on loving the last few bites of having the baby on the inside. enjoy all those flips and turns (and pokes and grinds). you are in the midst of a miracle.
congrats!!!

http://www.jtandtheob.com

Lisa Coleman Boutilier said...

I love reading your blog and it helps remind me to examine the little joys that we are given and the blessings that make their way in to our lives. Thank you for sharing.

Melissa Knott said...

It's amazing - the perspective you gain after the first birth. And even though days and months after you vow to make the next experience not quite as detailed, we do anyhow. We do this because the excitement and anticipation never (and shouldn't ever) changes. Being a mom is an amazing thing. It's an indescribable feeling the first time, and every time following. It's always a celebration! THAT, my friend, is why we are never judged for going overboard for our children.

So excited for your family. This little boy will be loved beyond words, I can tell.

priest's wife said...

sorry to be superficial...but you are so pretty!

Melina said...

beautiful Kelle! I love the bouquet of photos. Can't wait for the birth story!

xo
Melina

Bettyann said...

enjoy your last bite...take care and thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts with us xxx

Rosie Keisha said...

Kelle this post was so heart felt and beautiful...one of your best. Enjoy every moment of your final weeks of your last pregnancy. You have the gift to savor every moment of your life which is a beautiful thing. God speed for a safe and glorious delivery. We'll all be waiting breathlessly for the BIG announcement!

Stephanie Baker said...

Beautiful! I cried happy little tears remembering the mircaously joy of pregnancy and all the love it brings. Your blog has made me cry many, many times and always for the "right" reasons. Wishing you and your family all the best with this new addition, little details and all!

Alzbeta said...

I reached full-term today with my second little one (a big deal after having a preemie the first time around!) and am simultaneously savoring every last little party she throws in my womb and aching to hold her and smell her brand-new smell all at the same time. Blessings and prayers in your last few weeks of growing your sweet baby boy!

traci murphy said...

You look wonderful, I am so happy that you are enjoying all these lasts....I had no idea that my last one would be it for us and I so wish that I held it that much closer to my heart. I was too busy with the others and wanting to have him that I didn't enjoy just being.

Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Lauren Modeen said...

You are so incredibly inspirational, awesome. You just made my whole d.a.y. by sharing this story. Sharing the sweetest things in life. You are such a star.

Babs said...

You will never forget it. This is a promise.

mamaoftwo said...

I can't believe you were here in MN and I didn't get to meet you. Next time... :)

I can't wait to see pics of your newest addition.
Sara

Lisa said...

that was beautiful. i was never the woman who loved being pregnant, but reading that made me want to go attack my husband so i can have another sweet little one. i totally get the house full of bunk beads....and i'm anxiously awaiting this new little one for you!

Momma Of 2 TandK said...

So gorgeous!! Can not wait to hear of your wee boys arrival xx

Et tu, tutu? said...

Oh, I should not have been listening to emotional music when I was reading this. So, so beautiful.

-Lindsey

Kelley said...

Hi Kelle,
A belly that beautiful awaited with such anticipation should have henna on it. I would love to do that for you. Just say the word.

I love reading about your family.

From another Kelley :)

Kristen said...

You look beautiful! And what a beautiful post.

Sara said...

so, so beautiful, and honest, and raw. exactly why i love coming back here every time a new post from you pops into my Reader.

lots of love to all of you - and thank you for this glimpse into your life.

Posy Quarterman said...

Love it. Love your unicorns, your freak flag, you realistic optimism. Can't wait to see how the next chapter unfolds.

dodgingacorns said...

beautiful. good luck these last few weeks. thinking of you each day.

Jenn said...

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby. Knowing that this will be our last has made me so much more aware of each little kick and hiccup. Such an amazing miracle. Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. :)

Oklahoma Mohrs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaara Anderson said...

Again, I just love your words. How you see the world. I savor it ;)

OkMo said...

Wonderful post! We are currently trying for #3 and have had some losses along the way. You talking about making the birth favors with your girls (I have two girls) made me cry. I hope we get to do that very soon! Thanks for sharing.

April Vernon said...

You look beautiful! I've been wondering how you've been feeling about everything. Thanks for letting us in. I can't wait to see pictures of your newest little once he arrives.

Mama Mel said...

Wish my baby bump was as cute as yours! 35 weeks and 2 days here in snowy Montana. Hoping to go a little early since March is a busy birthday month for our family already. I am mostly nervous for how my current "baby" (she's 2 1/2 today!) will handle the changes when #3 makes his/her appearance in a few weeks. Savoring the last bites of this final pregnancy as well. Beautiful!!

Nicolette Gawthrop said...

yes, mama. yes.

Angelin said...

You are so beautiful I am lost for words! There is so mutch love in your photos that I almost want to cry. I wish you the best of luck:)
A big hug!

Megan said...

Such a perfect post for me in this season. I reached 38 weeks this past Saturday and feel what you have described in such a perfect way. She will be my first and I while I can't wait to kiss the little toes that thump into my ribs, I'm savoring these last somersaults and as much as I want to see her face, I don't want this to ever end. I, too, have LOVED the last half of pregnancy. Cheers to the last of the inner movements and to the first glimpse of cheeks just made for kissing!!

Jen said...

Lovely, sweet post. I want to feel pregnancy again, but something tells me to be apply with my three little blessings. :) Enjoy these last bites!

Bethany@Redesigning Life said...

So beautiful...the post AND you! I don't usually comment so I hope that makes your day. =)

~Bethany in NH

Crystal said...

I'm 31 weeks along, also with #3 (and first girl after 2 boys!) and so know what you mean. Here's to our last bites on opposite coasts!

Celeste said...

so lovely. what a beautiful post! thank you for sharing and enjoy the weeks ahead

Danielle said...

beautifully written. I have a c-section planned Feb 25 and I confess I'm a little less in love with the way I'm feeling, and a little more in love w/ the anticipation of my sweet boy. Ok. I'm kinda "done" being pregnant. ha! but I'm not done (: 4 more weeks and maybe i need to savor this a little bit more - because I don't know if this will be my last or not... so thanks for the reminder. your belly bumps are beautiful and make me wish I had more beautiful pictures to celebrate this little one.

Emily said...

I needed this. I actually love the first 3/4 or so of pregnancy, but it always seems to head south at the very end. I'm not savoring so much as hoping every moment will be "go time" so I can meet my little guy and start to feel healthy again. Thanks for the reminder...I'll try to set my mind to "savor" instead.

lynxymama said...

i am so happy you get to experience a son, it's the same feeling i had for me in getting to experience a surprise girl! there is something extremely dear about sons, i savor all the love they heap onto me when they are little like this. i am keenly aware of our (hubs and i) job to make these guys into kind hearted and strong men. you know? it's exciting!

karlamcurry said...

I'm in the same position as you are, nine months preggers with #3, a girl. Although I am a bit impatient since I'm so uncomfortable at this stage! I do so love feeling my baby move, though, and despite its discomforts I know I'll miss this stage. Especially during those lo-o-o-o-ong newborn nights. :)

Sandy said...

You look gorgeous! I'm a little jealous...I think we're done, but I did love being pregnant. May the end of your wait be filled with joy and many kicks of love, and may your labor be quickly forgotten in light of the joy of your little boy.

blessingsandglory said...

This post hit especially close to home for me. I'm pregnant with our fourth and last baby {a girl, after three boys!} and I too am savoring every last little detail. {While somehow forgetting the nausea in the beginning}. Also, like you we get the ride the waves of "what if's" and emotions that come with a pregnancy following the diagnosis of a sibling.

Our second son Charlie has DS and this is my second pregnancy after his birth and diagnosis. The result has been a beautifully magnified version of all pregnancy has to offer. Of course there are always worries lurking in the back, but they remain there, for I know that our fears are unfounded and that our love and family are stronger than anything. And once that little one is born, those moments after it's the greatest rush of emotions. There is great joy and sadness, but thankfully the joy always wins. You are wise to know that these feelings might come on strong, but they are just part of this journey that I wouldn't change a bit.

Love all of the belly bump pics! Enjoy and savor every last minute.

World of Waxes said...

You always have the best words to describe everything. You are a beautiful woman and momma. I can't wait to see your new little.

17enne said...

You're right: enjoy it.


A moved girl from northern Italy.

Diana said...

Today I'm 39 weeks with my first baby, due any day now after 2+ years of trying (assisted and not) and a miscarriage last January.

I'm so grateful that my little girl's timing aligned with your little boy's, because your posts the last few months have reminded me of the wonder and excitement and hopeful expectation that is an absolute joy to revel in. Many times (especially the first 20 weeks), I let myself get too busy to reflect and revel in happy expectation because I was afraid to be disappointed that something might not work out again, but between your posts and some of my own self-awareness, I'm reminded to absorb every moment of how amazing it's been to even come this far - to get to experience pregnancy, to be blown away by this little person inside me (especially when I see her on the ultrasounds), and now, to excitedly wait for her to join our family.

So again, thank you, and best wishes to you and your family as you savor these last bites of your pregnancy!

Rachael said...

I am a fairly new reader, a lurker if you may. I just had to stop in today and say I feel honored to get to see bits and pieces of your freak flag waving heart, because it's beautiful and so are you. Best of luck on your upcoming adventure. In my humble opinion, there is no moment sweeter than becoming the mama of a baby boy.

Mandi Wolfswinkel said...

My baby is almost four and no matter how much I am sure that we are done. I still get a little leap in my belly when I think about ever having another one. I loved being pregnant as well. Thankfully you are amazing at capturing the little moments that will hopefully never let you forget these wonderful moments. Good luck to you!

DanBin said...

u are awesome.

Southern Gal said...

There's nothing more beautiful than a pregnant belly. Sweet post. I'm loving the crocheted ensemble your mom made. I can't wait to see his little face.

beth said...

i love this post, these thoughts, your heart! God Bless!

kenzis said...

Wow. Absolutely BEAUTIFUL post! You make me want to be a mamma so bad.

Kenny and Chrissy said...

As the mom of one but who wanted many more, I'm enjoying this through you. Is there anything more magical?

Jessica said...

As if my baby fever wasn't strong enough already! Belly love!

Chellie Dee said...

You made me cry with this one... I'm pregnant with our first and there's been a lot of fear over factors that we can't control. Your post reminds me of the most important things that I get to look forward to as a first time mother so thank you for the perfect post at the perfect time!

Wheaty said...

I'm almost crying with longing ovr this post... and it takes a lot to make me cry. Life changes leave me wondering if I'll ever get that third baby my heart longs for, and hearing your thoughts at the end of your third just makes me long for it even more.

Raelyn said...

Kelle....
"After Nella was born, I looked back on her birth and for a moment almost felt embarrassed for the silly details for which I had prepared when they seemed so meaningless after, compared to the depth of emotion that accompanied her birth and diagnosis. Really? Birth favors, a pretty nightgown picked out for the occasion, hand knit hats, a birth song, candles? Does any of it matter when you’re bitch-slapped with the reality of what life is really about?"? Oh, yes. Yes it does!! ;-D
"I am the mama who knows that little details make her happy....". Hey!! That reminds me of a Sherlock Holmes line!! He (played by Robert Downey Jr.!!) said this: "The little details are by far the most important.". ;)
"No one knows what life may hold, but beyond whatever it is…there is amazing.". Very good!! ;-D
Oh, Kelle, if only I could be as deep as you are!! I can try, but fail miserably!! ;)
--Raelyn

Leah said...

Beautiful! Thinking of you as the day draws near. So exciting! :)

Happiness is... said...

Oh your pictures speak volumes. I too loved being pregnant and became wistful at the end - the kicks, the curve, the hiccups. You have been blessed to bear 3 amazing children, and in turn they are blessed to have you.

May you have long, lingering days that etc pictures in your memory and in your heart. Here's wishing you a wonderful birth day.

-Jennifer

Vicki Novack said...

You are such a brilliant writer. Thank you, as always, for sharing such wise words with us.

Lisa said...

You have such a way of summing up life. I could have written this myself as I prepared for the birth of my 3rd and last child. (My little boy after 2 daughters) I wish I had documented more during my pregnancies. So looking forward to seeing your sweet boy.

Iva P said...

I am a mother of one beautiful daughter who has ds and my husband and I have started to think about expanding our family. Thank you for your inspiring words.

Reenie said...

Beautiful.....simply beautiful. Love the last pic of you and Nella. You look gorgeous. I can't wait to see your baby boy. :)

Sara Bell- The Traveling PhoBlogWriPher said...

That was beautifully said! I still have 15 weeks to go before I get to meet my first baby but I already feel like I understand what you mean. =]

Izzy said...

Oh mama, this is so serene and so beautiful. I can feel your anticipation, I can feel you slight worry, I can feel your love for this family. You are beautiful.

Ariel L. Hobbs said...

You are so beautiful - inside and out. Thank you for these inspiring, peace-giving words. I just had my second little treasure three months ago. <3

SC Smith said...

Wow. What an amazing post. I started following your blog a little bit after Nella was born and have been hooked ever since. Can't wait to see your new baby boy!

Amy Ross said...

Love the collection of photos. I regret how few photos I have of my own baby bumps... If I could, I'd have another baby just so I could have photos. It's one of my only mommy regrets.

Sarah said...

Absolutely beautiful. And reading this has made my baby fever go off the charts! The way that you cherish pregnancy...I hope to be pregnant again, some day soon, and I will make a point to come back here and read this post to be reminded of how to really appreciate every moment of it!

toi said...

This is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes. This post reminded me of why I blog.

robin said...

Love your blog...Awesome baby bump! You're a great writer!

Tristen said...

Beautiful post. I'm embarrassed to say that I was scrolling through these admiring your beautiful maternity wardrobe! Just hit 21 weeks with my fourth child and somehow this pregnancy I have absolutely nothing to wear! :) How did this happen? Still have 19 weeks left and am going to face my closet every single day. Ha ha. You wear pregnancy with pride and it is beautiful inside and out. :)

Of course I cried reading your beautiful words, too. I am expecting a boy and feel so many of the same emotions. Congratulations and I can't wait to see pictures of that sweet boy!!

Heidi said...

Oh, how i love you. You are a stunning pregnant woman, but your heart is what captivates. The love you have for your babies and how you have enjoyed every single moment, those moments which included your head in the toileta, of this amazing pregnancy. Enjoy these last bites mama. X

Mama Bear said...

What lovely last bites! Growing a baby is truly amazing. The nine months of pregnancy were all I got with my first son and I am so glad I savored the wonderfulness of him. He only knew complete love. And I am overjoyed to be soaking up his little brother's first few months on the outside! Hugs to you.

Life with Kaishon said...

I am so excited for you Kelle. I will be praying every day that the delivery goes smoothly.

Lisa said...

Kelle, I have never read your story of Nella's birth, but I did tonight. It was beautiful and such a blessing. I teared up at multiple points, and was awed at your account.

She is one special girl!!! God bless you all!

Sonnymakes3 said...

Absolutely loved this post! I miss being pregnant and all the crazy, amazing feelings you can feel all at the one time. All the best for your birth and meeting your lucky son.

sonnymakes3.com

xxxx

Mom Fashion World said...

Love the bump :-)
Cant' wait to see the 3rd baby :-)


readeatcreate.com said...

Your bump is beautiful. I also just watched the video you made for Nella's 3rd birthday and it brought me to tears. More people in the world need to have a heart a soul like you do. I've never met a more beautiful and sincere person on the inside as you are and I hope you know that your girls have the best momma they could ever ask for. Much love and luck in the upcoming weeks of your new little boy. I'll be praying that you have a safe delivery and that he comes out with all ten fingers and ten toes.
xoxo
Erin

Ginger said...

what a great, intentional mama you are!
we have 1 girl. wanted another, but couldn't afford to stay home with another (she was home for 2 yrs) and couldn't imagine/justify putting a second baby un daycare at 8 weeks old. I struggle with it even though it's a done deal. she will have neither siblings nor cousins.
I have a hard time reading a lot of blogs pertaining to multiple kids, but yours is different. it's non-judgmental and raw, honest. thank you so much for sharing your enviable, yet entirely realistic life with us. it is an inspiration for intentional living regardless of the number of kids or challenges our kids do or don't face. xo

dig this chick said...

Keeeeeelleee! I love love this post. Yes, because that's my mama! Last bites! Oh, my childhood with dogs at my mom's heels every night. Beyond words and through tears, I love that you experienced that.

But I also love this post for all the little sentences that ache in my heart, the ones I copied to post here in my comment and say YES but then there was another.

This post is you, your soul. Your love.

Can't effing wait to see you and your girls and your dashing boy!!!

So much love,
dig
Nici

lisa k said...

...this is my favorite post...

Julie said...

beautiful sentiments and pictures

Sian said...

Oh kelle I'm so excited for you! xxxx

Denise said...

You are so beautiful, Kelle both inside and out. This post really highlights that. Your positivity amazes me with all you have been through. Good luck with your son. I am blessed with only one child a son and I wouldn't change it for anything.

medina family said...

Similar feelings over here...baby #4 is due in the end of March...Now I just need some gorgeous photos like yours to remind me of it years from now.

Angie said...

you are one lovely pregnant mama! keep on keeping on, kelle.

Clara Hinton said...

Kelle,
You are such a beautiful mama, and your words reflect your inner beauty as well.

It's so refreshing to hear a mama be so excited about her babies -- the loves of her life. I can't wait to hear about your beautiful birth story of this little boy who is already so loved.

I'm so glad to hear that you made preparations again like your pj's to wear in the hospital! YAY! You wouldn't be the Kelle we know without doing that! Your son's going home outfit is beautiful, too!

Continue to savor -- the last weeks of each of my pregnancies were spent "loving on my tummy" -- just watching my little one sleep, move, turn, roll, etc. I wanted to take it all in -- every wonderful moment of this miracle!

Special prayers are being sent your way for some extra wonderful days of simply savoring -- and a birth that is a miracle unfolding right before your eyes!

Clara -- Mom to Eleven Wonderful Miracles!
PS People often ask if I'd do it all over again and without hesitation I shout, "YES! I'm the luckiest person in the world to have been part of so many miracles!" God bless you as you enjoy another beautiful miracle, Kelle!

Alicia D said...

so excited for you. you do your thing - little details mean a lot... it isn't that they carry so much 'importance' in the grand scheme of life but if they make your heart happy and things meaningful and they feel true to who you are, then they are wonderful, right? i can't wait to read your third birth story - i know it will be touching and beautiful :) savor these last days of pregnancy :)

Becca Coursey said...

You ARE absolutely radiant. I am hoping that you know that now that you have that confirmed by hundreds of readers! It is so important to remember that in the times of exhaustion and fatigue our wee ones bring in the dark hours of night. It is hard to remember: we are the beauty that has brought this precious thing into this world.

May you have many, many moments of love, & beauty, & quiet grace in these upcoming days and months.

fondly,
becca

Brit Girl said...

Hey Lady K! Wishing you love and luck for your little lad's imminent birth day. I hope the day is all that you want it to be. Belated birtday wishes to Nella - what a big girl she is now! And so cute! And delighted to see that Lainey seems to be blossoming at school. Much love from across the pond. Brit Girl x

Sarah Ochoa said...

Absolutely beautiful...you brought me to tears. 'One last push'... yes. My youngest is 8 months old, and my cousin just welcomed her first...coaching her through these hard couple of last days before her milk comes in and assuring her the breakdowns are so so normal and she's doing a great job...and I just read your blog and OH! how I can't wait to do it all again!

Thank you, perfect read for this morning.

Sarah

Unknown said...

Thank you for relishing the amazing feeling of pregnancy and birth. I have been unable to conceive, and get so frustrated listening to people complain about being pregnant or about their children.I love that you're so open about it, I can feel your joy. Thank you again!

Denise said...

Does your mom have a blog? I love the things she crochets for your babys. Does she share patterns?

lightkeepersdaughter said...

What a beautiful baby bump you have!

You're so wise to savour these last beautiful 'bites' of carrying this little boy right under your heart!

It's been almost 38 years since I carried my amazing daughter under my heart - and - I vividly remember whispering to her the day she was born, that I already missed her!

Never again will your baby be as close to you, as he is today.

Cherish every second.........Rosemary

Pipsylou said...

Nice, Kelle. During my pregnancy with our last I KNEW she was our last. I had lost 5 babies, a tube in a near-fatal ectopic pregnancy, and have a daughter with special needs. Somehow that last pregnancy is so precious! I love how you are savoring it!

I had a 1 in a million complication that meant an emergency hysterectomy for me the day she was born, and I think that made me even MORE aware of the amazing thing that this life is...and how special and beautiful it is and worth savoring.

So, anyway, thanks for reminding me to "enjoy the small things!"

betrothed_4 said...

You look very beautiful!! So exciting to hear you are having another baby. Your stories are inspiring! Many blessings and love to you and the family!! ��

Josie Jimenez said...

Your pregnancy picture are beautiful Kelle! All of them. I can't wait to "meet" your little new addition!

CSB said...

One of my fab posts ever - had to come back to enjoy it again. The pregnancy pictures, all together, are perfect and so moving. You and your boy are beautiful together! Sending love and wishes for a wonderful labor and delivery!

Leann said...

simply amazing! your story is so compelling! Nella is absolutely amazing and beautiful and I love reading about her, you and your family. So beautiful!

Leann

niki-jean said...

Remind us of the actual due date so we can be eagerly anticipating too! But not too much... cause baby boy will come when he's right and ready! Sending you love and strength and all things brave and good for a safe and wonderous delivery. (And I'm a doula! So i know the deal!)

ox

Tammie said...

Kelle, you just continue to let us see the real you which as far as I can tell thru a blog is one amazing person. I felt the same as you, Loved being pregnant and more than that I loved being a Mother. I want to wish your whole family the best with your little miracle that you are about to bring into this world, he is going to be so blessed.

Kelsey Case said...

You are a beautiful Momma!

TheJustInCases.Blogspot.com

Melissa Libertad said...

I seriously didn't realize how long i have been reading your blog until recently. I realized its been over two years. And although I don't know you, I share in your happiness. So happy for you and can't wait to see your adorable little bebe. :)

Rose said...

pregnancy suits you so Kelle, hope you are savouring every last moment. Been away from the blogosphere a while so lovely to catch up with your journey. Much love X

mamarise.com said...

well said... and what a beautiful woman you are! and what beautiful ladies! i love the moments (weeks, days) before a new life is welcomed, the planning that surrounds it, and the dreaming that ensues... thanks for sharing.

Yellow Finch Designs said...

i think this is one of my favorite posts you've written ;) cherish and embrace every moment of this "last push" i would give anything to go back and do it one more time.

xo

Cindy said...

Love this post. One thing I tell mommas to be, which you probably remember from Nella's birth, is REMEMBER TO TAKE IN HOW LITTLE YOUR GIRLS ARE RIGHT NOW because when you birth beautiful baby boy, your girls will see huge. Bless you and your family, Kelle.

Annie said...

Love this post!!

Kelly said...

Kelle,
I too am in my third and (Very likely) last pregnancy, although a bit behind you due in July. But THANK YOU for these words. I have been mourning the last of everything in this pregnancy. Last announcement to friends, last time my belly will "pop", last food aversions..ok, maybe not everything. But having it be the last means I won't get to experience this gift of womanhood again. THANK YOU for the reminder. I'm trying my hardest to enjoy the last bites :)

Kaity said...

I swear to the sweet, baby Jesus, your words make my heart feel things I didn't even know it was capable of. The way you weave words together has me in perpetual awe. Never stop writing.

Win said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE that belly. Sweet little boy growing in there. Awesome pictures Kelle.

Mark, Wendy, Dale and Rose said...

What joy this post gave me. Beautiful words from a beautiful mama.

Annie Kates said...

I cannot wait to hear the story of his birth.
How bittersweet to know these are the last moments of growing a life inside you, for good. That's a hard time for any mama. At least for those who enjoy pregnancy.
Glad to hear you survived the cold of Minnesota. Keeps that Michigan soul of your's hearty.

OhGreenTherapy said...

Tears! This week has been a tough one for me - taking my sweet boy to daycare for a few hours for the first time, in preparation for my return to work next week. Your words here brought back not-so-distant memories and emotions, ones that I want to hold on to forever. Coupled with our transition this week, I'm reminded to savor these moments, emotional rollercoaster and all, because "last bites" can certainly be sweet. Enjoy yours!

Romantic Savy said...

You are so incredibly beautiful!

NickandCaeli said...

Loved this post!

Karla Earnhart said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. Your words are so beautiful and so encouraging to me.

Lindsey [homegrown spud] said...

This post about last bites, makes me cry... you have captured everything beautiful that I have felt with pregnancy... and with savoring life. i love it. thank you for writing this post and many others that just resonate with me...for days.

and you're absolutely beautiful with that bump... and with your sweet little girls enjoying your pregnancy too. amazing...right?!

you're probably too busy with.. oh.. I dont know.. almost birthing a human... having an uber successful blog...having a family (how do you do it all?!) but I thought I had to write a comment. thanks!

Hazel said...

Kelle you will be so fine, with your family and friends celebrating your little ones birthday. I wish that I had been able to organise some of those nice details for our girls birthday. Sometimes I still wonder at all that happened over the last weeks (months) but although I may not have had those last few months of growing big, or the birth with a room full of friends, candles and music, my first night as a Mama I slept in a daggy hospital gown and my two girls slept in their humidicribs fighting for their lives, I will never ever forget that last night being pregnant - feeling them kick me, they knew they were coming before I did! I will never forget looking out the operating theatre window and seeing that the day had dawned. Or turning to see Rob's beautiful blue eyes looking at me above his hospital mask and being able to relax that we could get through whatever came next together. And now I have those cuddles with them, I can't wait to bring them home. I have realised that I have still felt the love rush of being a mother for the first time, and my two girls mean everything to me. Xxx hugs to you Mama, I can't wait to watch your next chapter unfold.

Mindy Bone said...

Oh my goodness, I cannot stop reading your blog! You make me want to be a mom so bad! You have such a beautiful little family. I can't wait until I'm at that point in my life. Looking at my future as a mother I always worried about the possibility of having a disabled child, but you have made me come to realize that each child is perfect and are exactly the way they are meant to be. Nella is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story. :)